life still goes on

after so many things happened to me, i guess no point for being upset.
i just need to learn how to deal with things.
everything seems to be going against me. it's true.
i've been facing alot of unpleasant things lately.
and i've been thinking a lot these days.
i break down for so many times within a week, i need to learn to control my emotions.
what comes around goes around.
i need to learn how to handle things as well.
i need to believe that god will never give us problem to defeat us, but to strengthen us.


someone said, hang in there, everyone been through and done that, you will make it.
someone has been there for me during my hard times.
but now i guess i just have to face all these shits all by myself.
everything is gonna be fine.
be positive.



The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
The pain I’m knowing
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

never ever drive when you're in an unconsious mind, unstable emotions.

"It's challenging for you to balance your inherent need for mental stimulation with today's strong desire to chill out.
It's not that your need to be with other people disappears now;
it's just that you don't want the same level of distraction that normally feels right.
If you recently overextended yourself in any way,
it's time to recharge your batteries so you are up to the challenges of tomorrow."
- daily horoscope

another hectic month is back. i'm really very vex.
there's so many things that i need to sort out. work, studies & whatnot.
assignments are killing me. readings, research and another monologue.
i've already done my best for my previous assignments, but still.
the grades doesn't seems to be good.
what else i can do when i've already tried my best.
i don't know which one to start when there's so many to do.
i don't know what should i do when i really have no idea on what to do.
there's many things that bothering me.
i don't want to get distracted by all those shits.
i really need motivation & encouragement.
cause i don't have any strong determination for me to continue every single thing that i'm doing.
i'm struggling. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels this way.
i MUST strive towards success, but i'm afraid that i CAN'T.
cause i know my limits. i don't think i can hang on for so long.
i find it really hard for me. a loooong & arduous way to go.

blessings & lucks.
that's what i need for now.

everything i do seems to be so unmanageable, in a mess i would say.
whenever i try to settle down in certain places, there's always some shits out from nowhere hit me down to dumps.
i don't understand why the same damn thing just seems to happen to me continuously.
whenever i have a positive thinking or brand new hope towards certain things,
i just get pulled straight down again, really fed up somehow.
i thought everything would be fine, but the more i hope for, the more i got disappointed.
im really tired of being this way.
why there's so many barriers & setbacks for me?
why there's always someone who is making the difficulties for me?
why am i the one who is always cast down by the setbacks in work & life?
why am i the one who is always get off with a bad start? or even ends with a bad ending.
this is not the first time anyhow. somehow i just become numb towards this matter.
cause i can't control & prevent from these shits to happen.
well, i guess im just the bad luck ones or the less fortunate ones.
i really don't expect anything which is too over from anything/anyone.
i just HOPE everything that im going through will goes smoothly. as simple as that.
but that would just never happen. is it a curse to me?
i don't know if im born to have such a life like this.

without doubt that crying, drinking or even turning my lungs into black can't solve any problems,
but at least these will make oneself to feel better.
it's just a way of letting out every single thing you kept in your heart.

a time to breakdown,
a time to build up again.
be tough.

"Sometimes, fate has a cruel way of putting things together.
Maybe it's better if people just give up when there's no point in fighting someone anymore.
When the ship has finally sailed, only a fool would go after when it's already miles away.
But sometimes, it's a lot better to be fool to go after what we want and need,
rather than to regret everything in the end because we never even tried."

"Everything changes eventually, that's just the way life is,
and you have no control over it.
Like... suddenly people who you think are always going to be there...
they DISAPPEAR.."



i feel like i couldn't communicate well with the people around me these days.
i don't know if it's my problem, but i think it is.
there's so many things stuck in my mind, again.
i don't know how to explain, cause i feel weird.
i don't know why i feel such way, mixed feelings.
and i did something which is bad to myself.
turning my lungs into black.
and i've been trying so hard to be more optimistic, especially towards life.
no more stumbling & falling.
but, the more i hope for, the more i get hurt.

sometimes, it hurts more to hope & care.
no doubt that im still living in the past.

''Sometimes, things don't always work out the way you want them to be,
and a lot of times, it seems like they never will, but it's okay.
That's hows life supposed to go.
It's all about learning how to deal with the bumpy parts in the road,
and waiting till they're smooth again.
That's just how life is.''

i had enough of the bumpy parts, i know there's more to come.
the roads ahead, would be even tougher.
hoping for the smooth ones, please...

HAPPY 68th BIRTHDAY, POPO

peace. =p

the other 8 grandchildren were missing.
sarah sheah, aaron sheah, sharon sheah, eugene sheah, joel tan, joey tan, brandon sheah & edward sheah.

+

6 of us.
michelle wong, harry wong, edmund sheah, joshua sheah, eddrick sheah, evonne sheah.

=

14 :)

MAY YOU BE BLESSED WITH GOOD HEALTH.
WE LOVE YOU, ALWAYS. :)

no one, no one & no one.
unless miracle happens.

"In our backwards world
We are defined by that which is missing
The things we never did,
The chances we never took,
The words we never spoke.
We are defined by everything we should have done but just couldn't."

i've finally made up my mind...

even if we never talk again,
just hope that you're doing really fine.

i didn't go to work today, called my colleague early in the morning and i was malingering,
pretend that i'm not feeling well. i know i'm bad, but to be frank, this is my first time ever pretend to be sick, i swear!! LOL!
cause i went for maxis shooting, some "kalefe" only. face cannot be seen one.
just keep non-stop walking, sweat and sweat & sweat! tiring! exercise wei. haha.
however, the pay is better than my current part-time job for a day. double wei.
at least that shooting is just for few hours only. cause i was on full shift today, 10-10. crazy!
and the best part was i got the pay on the spot. how nice.
that is why i chose not to go to work, for a day only laaaa. heee.

special thanks to Rachael Teng sis!!! much appreciated.

well, although the pay is an extra pocket money for myself, but i gave it all to my popo :)
i can feel that she's quite happy the moment i gave her the money. hehe.
her birthday is just around the corner, and i don't know what to get her.
my aunty & uncle (the good side ones) and the cousins celebrated for her in advanced last week.
and i couldn't make it that night cause i was working. wasn't allowed to take leave. :(
anyway, i think most probably im gonna get her a pandan birthday cake on the 23rd, her all time favourite cake. :)))

ohh yaa, my dearies sis & bro were off to langkawi last night.
too bad i didn't join them, cause i can't. :(
i know they will surely have loads of fun there. :)
they will be back on sun! wee~

YAY!!! TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!!
AMAZING RACE!!
OFF FROM WORK AGAIN!!! DOUBLE YAAYY!!
WOOHOO~~

:'(

" I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go.
It's like we're scared to lose what we don't even really have.
Some of us say we'd rather have that something then absoutely nothing,
but the truth is, 'to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all'."

guess what? i've been the rudest girl ever on earth today.
i was extremely rude. whoa~~~~~~
you know what i did today?
did an exciting car chase this evening. naaaaaaah.
yelled and shouted like a mad girl, damn psycho.
in fact, i was effin' paranoid.
middle finger sign, was a gift given to her.
i bet you wouldn't want to pay me a visit at the hospital, right?
this babi lady almost got me & chris killed. *touch wood*
seriously, im not exaggerating!

monologue was supposed to be done today.
sadly, can't make it today due to time constraint and my lucky number 57 out of 60.
damn tension weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

oh yaaa, im so much looking forward to attend the Taylor's Mass Colympics'09.
im taking part in the Mini Amazing Race.
and guess what?
ALLAN WU, the host for Amazing Race Asia is gonna be the host for the Mini Amazing Race!! how coooooool!!!
another reason for me to take a day off from work. woohooo~~~~




Activities...
- Paintball
- Beach Futsal
- Street Futsal
- Amazing Race
- Telematches
- Rock Climbing*
- Foosball*
(*-tentative, subject to change)


Invited Educational Institutions...
- TAYLOR'S UNIVERSITY COLLEGE (ALL CAMPUSES)
- Inti University College
- Segi College
- Metropolitan College
- Monash University
- Sunway University College
- Kolej Damansara Utama
- HELP University College
- Lim Kok Wing University
- Tunku Abdul Rahman College




for more info, kindly visit *propassion.blogspot.com*

i find it really hard to get over someone that you really have feelings for.
although you haven't been seeing that person for years.
haven't been talking to that person for ages.
and what if you met that person only for ONCE? yes, hell ONCE.
but you still think about that person all the time.
doesn't it sounds RIDICULOUS?
i reaaaally wonder why. WHY?

there's always something that you want to change in your life.
but no matter how hard you try, how badly you want to, that would just never happen.
i know that every starts or beginning has an ending.
but what if there is something which has forever no ending?
just like a circle, goes round and round which has no ending point.

i used to need someone's reassurance because i feel insecure.
and i did try to hide away all of my feelings of insecurity.
but in the end, I become silent to the things that really matter to me.
god knows why.
and all of the little wonders just managed to made up less than an hour.
that night, those seconds... how amazing.
i know that every little thing happens for a reason.
but what's the reasons behind then?

somehow or rather, i do believe that if you think that person is really the right person for you,
waiting for 12 months or even years, will be well worth it.
don't you think so?
despite knowing that there might not be any chances to talk to that person anymore.
even if you still do talk to that person, you just couldn't spill out everything.
you just couldn't tell that person how you feel, your thoughts and inner feelings.
cause you're trying so hard to hold back the feelings,
try not to let that person know how much you miss that person,
and how much that person actually mean to you.
even if you wanted to hear from that person so badly,
you just don't have the courage to send a simple text by saying ''hi how are you''.
when you don't even dare to text that simple message to that person,
where the hell you get the courage from to text that person that you misses that person much.
not to mention calls when by just sending a simple text is already a hard thing for you to do.
or when you have already texted in the message that you wanted to send,
you still keep hesitating and wondering if you should send that damn message to that person.
deleted it and later on retype again, deleted it and retype again.
non-stop repeating the same damn thing.
i reaaaaaally wonder WHYYYYYYYYYY.

well, maybe the reason being is you're wayyyyy tooooo afraid that person doesn't feel the same way as you do.
as you like that person soooo much, but that person just doesn't seems to have any feelings for you.
that's the most hurting part.

that sounds reaaaaaaaaaaally silly.
i know that.

finally, this week is such a oh-not-so-stress week for me.

all of the assignments were handed in last week.
the past few weeks were darn hectic & tired! serious shit.
stayed up late till the wee hours, got frustrated over some shits that i don't understand,
and tears were run dry for that period of time. goshh.
thanks to the double "J", who willing to help me. :)

okay, let's talk about my working life.
i'm currently working at HUGO BOSS, The Gardens, which is under the Melium group.
yea, i know i've changed plenty of retail jobs. but who cares, as long as i'm happy with it, right? LOL!
i've been working there for few weeks already. i love that oh-so-high-class boutique.
for the time being, i'm the only girl who works there. all of my colleagues are really nice. *thumbs-up*
my ex-boutique manager is a super hot guy, a mixed white guy.
i get to work with him for few days only.
cause he has already transfered to another boutique. sigh.
anyhow, working life is pretty much fine at the moment.
i'd say that this is the best retail job that i've ever found, so far. :)

well, i'm pretty free for this week, yeah, only this week i guess.
managed to catch a movie with my coussy yesterday, 'Confessions of A Shopaholic'
i'm sure there's more to come within this week, 'Fast & Furious' and of course 'He's Just Not That Into You.'

hmm. remember i post about this book few months back? i've finished reading it a loooong time ago.
you know what, whenever i came across this --> "he's just not that into you," it always makes me think that, "someone", who i think about all the time, is just not that into me.
and yea, automatically, i just tend to think about all those stupid things again.
think too much about it which i know i shouldn't. :'(
well, needless to say, i'm also kinda speechless when it comes to this. sigh.

he's just not that into you...
he's just not that into you...
he's just not that into you...
keeps running through my head.

things i can't control are taking over me

i've got this feeling for reminiscing,
reminiscing how we used to be,
reminiscing the times i shared with you,

but now we barely even talk...

Dreaming of you

Late at night, when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even seen me
And wonder if you know I'm here
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and courage to say
How much I Love You
Yes, I do.

ILOVEYOU, MY BABY..

well, i know that this post is definitely gonna freak you out.
i know you can't accept it, but this is the fact. :)
hehe. YAY! YAY! YAY!
WEE! WEE! WEE!
you know what? I'M A T T A C H E D !
like finally, after soooooo long, i have another new bf!! =)
he's such an irrestisible nice guy. haha.
i know he's the right guy for me.
i really don't wanna lose him.
you know how much i love you. :)


IMISSYOU,BOY!
ILOVEYOU TILL THE VERY END.

WOOT WOOT!!!


suprise huh. :p











































HAHAHAHA!!
APRIL FOOL EVERYONE!!

okay okay, i know that was kinda childish.
someone said im lame. bleks.
haha. enjoy your day people!

WOOT WOOT!!!
=p =p =p =p

iloveyou.
imissyoumoreeachday.
it isn't a lie.